


Cruel and Unusual Kindness

by orphan_account



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Genre: Character Study, Child Abuse, Culture Shock, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, this may be gen but know that NO ONE in here is cishet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 09:47:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16721034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Adora attempts to resolve the questions she has about the strange, kind culture of Bright Moon after a confrontation between Glimmer and her mom. Bow and Glimmer try to help her.





	Cruel and Unusual Kindness

**Author's Note:**

> Be kind to yourself! There is a narcissistic parenting dynamic in this story, and if that is gonna stir up some bad memories for you, you can either skip this story or (if you have a BURNING desire to read it) skip the section that is enclosed by the -- marks, where the narcissism is explicitly demonstrated. Stay safe everyone!
> 
> obligatory no beta, please forgive any grammar errors!

Upon storming into her room, Glimmer began screaming in frustration. Even as she teleported into her weird basket-bed hybrid, she continued to scream (though muffled) into her pillows. Bow and Adora entered after her at a more sedate pace, and Adora thanked the stars above that Bow seemed to prefer quieter expressions of frustration.

As soon as he shut the door behind them with a tight smile to the guards, he began picking up the various odds and ends that littered the Princess’ room. Adora squinted at his silent, robotic figure, confused. Was this… how he showed how he was upset? He had seemed upset when the Queen had sent Glimmer off to her room. So much about Bright Moon confused her.

Unwilling to disturb the still panting Glimmer, Adora thought to try Bow for some answers. She cautiously tiptoed over to where he stood over a chest of drawers, folding some sort of blanket. “Bow?” she whispered. He jumped, almost comically startled. “Bow, what’s wrong with Glimmer?”

“Geez, Adora, try and make some noise when you walk up on me, won’t you? You scared the living daylight out of me!” he retorted, not answering her question.

If this had been the Horde, he would have been ripped apart from the moment he started fussing over the cleanliness of the floor. Comments on his maid service, his subservience, his inability to focus on his surroundings, his perceived weakness; that the only way that he would escape his cadethood was if he took up maintenance duties. She could imagine herself making some pointed comment to him about hitting the training sims on his free time, and she knew that Catra would have been at her shoulder to deliver a final crippling blow to his self-esteem, voicing thoughts that had always made Adora feel a little sick inside.

But this was Bright Moon, and this was Bow. Bow could shoot targets from 75 feet away even when the wind was blowing. He had tricked out his arrows to give his outdated weapon surprising complexity. Not only that, but Adora was learning that the things she had always taken for vulnerabilities represented a measure of strength far beyond Adora’s capabilities. Bow knew when people wanted a hug and when people just needed a thumbs-up. His smile bent wary strangers into allies. His conversations with people, regardless of how well he knew them, flowed smoothly and lightly, without awkward silences and weird expectant pauses. She had learned the truth of his strength within her first week living in Bright Moon. Now more than ever, she was grateful for the opportunity she had to understand power beyond the limited definition the Horde had instilled in her.

Bow was looking at her strangely; Adora had lost herself inside her head again. But instead of mocking her, he smiled gently at her, past the lingering tension in his shoulders. “Everything okay?”

She shook off the lingering cobwebs of her rumination and forcefully steered herself back to their actual conversation. “Sorry, Horde thoughts.” He nodded understandingly, because incredibly he accepted that as an explanation. “I just… does she always act like that with her… mom?”

The word still fit oddly in her mouth. No one in the Horde had parents or families, but apparently everyone in Bright Moon had one. They took it for granted in a way that made Adora want to lock her childhood away and throw away the key.

Bow glanced up at where Glimmer had now graduated to sitting up and staring moodily at the wall, muttering under breath and throwing the occasional ball of light. His smile faded away. “Yeah, they have a super tumultuous relationship. If Glimmer does anything that breaks out of Queen Angella’s protective bubble wrap, they always get into an argument that ends with Glimmer getting grounded.”

“Bubble wrap?” Adora muttered instinctively. When Bow opened his mouth to explain, she shook her head. “Never mind, I understand in context. But that’s not what my question was. I meant—does Glimmer always talk so disrespectfully to her? The yelling and stomping and stuff?”

Bow cocked his head and quirked his lips wryly. “Well, yeah. I mean, I don’t think I would talk like that to my moms, but Glimmer has always had an explosive temper. Plus the queen can be a bit condescending, to tell the truth. Glimmer could really prove herself if she just gave her a chance.”

Adora spluttered and resisted the urge to throw her hands in the air, an edge of frustration rising in her. This was another one of those Bright Moon things that everybody understood but her, and she was never able to articulate her confusion well enough that people stopped looking at her like a complete idiot. Still, she had to try. She had the feeling that this issue was particularly important.

“Queen Angella is her superior officer!” Adora exclaimed, punctuating her words with some hand gestures she had picked up from Bow. “What she does is-is insubordination! And all she gets punished with is-what? Temporary consignment to this huge room with all this stuff? That’s nothing compared to what she should be getting!” By this point, Glimmer had poked her head over the side of her bed and, still spoiling for a fight, opened her mouth to start yelling. However Bow made an apologetic shushing motion, brow creased with worry.

With a strange tone, Bow said, “That’s right. You said you were raised by Shadow Weaver, and I guess she was technically your commanding officer. What would happen over there for, uh, insubordination?” Glimmer covered her mouth with horrified realization, and Bow braced himself for some unpleasant imagery.

Adora turned away from Bow and began pacing, too caught up in her memories to recognize either of her friends’ reactions. “Please, no one would ever do anything like this to Shadow Weaver. Something like this would get you… Well, I’m not entirely sure. But at the least, you would get three weeks of solo sims, additional chores, and whatever progress you had towards your next promotion taken away. Plus, Shadow Weaver had a way of knowing exactly what to say to dig at your weak spots. No doubt you would regret being born if you ever spoke against her.” A dark frown carved itself into Adora’s face as she contemplated the depths of Shadow Weaver’s hypothetical revenge. Bow and Glimmer exchanged a look.

When Glimmer spoke up at last, her voice was gentle and quiet, more so than Adora had ever heard her. Still, she startled, having forgotten the presence of her friends in her tirade. “My mom is my mom before anything else. We might disagree on a lot, but she loves me, and I guess my punishments reflect that. She would never do anything to me like Shadow Weaver did to you.”

Adora whipped around and stared at them wildly, fists clenched. “It might not make sense to you, but she did what she had to do to improve me! To make me stronger! Your mom punishes you like a daughter for actions your actions as a commander! You’ll never understand the full consequences of your actions that way.”

Glimmer took a deep breath, eyes flashing dangerously. But she forced herself to calm down, thankful for the steady presence of her best friend at her side. “It might not make sense to you. Fine. But there are some things that are more important than discipline and more valuable than order! If my mom did those things to me, or the Bright Moon equivalent of those things, I think it would break something between us that I’m not sure we could repair. I don’t—I don’t want that for me and my mom. I’m stronger knowing that I can rely on our relationship unconditionally, regardless of my mistakes, even if I don’t want or need to.” She ran out of words, exhausted but unsatisfied where she had left off. She looked to Bow, hoping that he’d know how to finish this conversation.

He gave an approving smile to her, then faced Adora with the full wattage of his sympathy. “Shadow Weaver may have made you stronger. Really strong! Adora, you’re an awesome fighter. But she could have trained you without, I don’t know, terrifying you into submission.” He stepped closer, smile turning somewhat uncertain. Adora had wiped the emotion off her face, and Bow couldn’t tell if what he said was getting through to her or making things worse. “Glimmer and I are plenty strong without having gone through that, and I think we benefitted from it much more than we were harmed by it.” The Princess nudged him and gave him an encouraging smile, easing the growth of his mounting panic.

Adora, however, only felt the walls of their well-meaning expectations and kind conviction closing in on her. “I need to go—punch something.” She turned to go, then hesitated, unsure of why exactly she was stopping. “Sorry,” she added without knowing why.

Then she burst out the doors and ran through the hallway, ignoring the startled movements of the guards. Sepia-colored memories flashed through her mind, tinged a slightly different hue by the strange colors of Bow and Glimmer’s words.

She remembered an obstacle course test that she and her squad had undertook in their eighth year of training in order to stay together. Passing it hadn’t been the hard part. The hard part was what came after it. 

\--

“Your time has improved, cadets. Your squadron will stay together,” the obstacle course instructor announced. The four of them shared looks of relief and contentment, sweat dripping down the sides of their faces. “Everyone except for Cadet Adora is dismissed for showers.”

Adora snapped back into a ready stance, wrung out muscles whimpering at the sudden movement. Her squadmates gave her a commiserating glance as they filed out of the obstacle simulation room, rubbing their own aches and bruises, but Adora’s focus had already triangulated to three points: her aching body, the too-loud groan of the air conditioning, and the unnaturally dark shadows in the corner of the room. She barely even noticed when the officer murmured something about the impending arrival of her commanding officer as he walked out of the room for his own rest and recreation.

Her sweaty uniform cooled to an uncomfortable degree under the artificially chilly air, but she didn’t dare to break her stance to rub at her pebbling arms. Her punishment would increase tenfold if she was found to be disrespectful. Even as the chime that marked the changing of the hour broke the silence and her body stiffened like a marble statue, Adora remained perfectly still, as though lack of movement would hide her from discerning eyes.

Finally, just as Adora let her jaw relax long enough that her teeth began to chatter, the shadows in the corner that she had been watching so closely rippled and warped, heralding Shadow Weaver’s arrival. The adrenaline that had faded away with the end of the simulation burst back into life, and Adora barely heard Shadow Weaver’s next words over the sound of her pounding heartbeat.

“Adora,” Shadow Weaver said, her voice as smooth as glass, “I would have arrived sooner, but Lord Hordak had some pressing orders for me to attend to. I hope you didn’t mind the wait.” She floated into the bright green glow of the overhead lights, the shadows that lined the bottom of her cloak twisting and curling like serpents.

Adora stared resolutely at the space directly to the left of her masked eyes. “No, ma’am. I understand,” she replied mechanically, forcing her numb tongue into shapes that betrayed none of her trepidation.

Shadow Weaver drifted closer to Adora. “I’m glad. Now, come. Walk with me; we have an important matter to discuss.” She began moving towards the door without another word, forcing Adora to scramble to catch up to her. The muscles in her legs tightened painfully as she propelled herself into motion, and she hid her wince behind a neutral façade.

They exited the room and began walking down the hallway towards the showers. She thought longingly of the lukewarm spray. “Your instructor informed me that you completed your assessment over four seconds faster than your last time.” She paused, and Adora realized that she supposed to answer some unspoken query.

“My team and I have trained hard to make improve ourselves for this test, ma’am,” she said quickly, unsure of the response that Shadow Weaver wanted.

“You misunderstand me, Adora. Your team,” she stressed with disgust, “did not improve their time. You improved your time and dragged them along, just as you always do. I don’t understand why you take these tests to remain with such a group of incompetent cadets. You could have been promoted ages ago if you had moved to another squadron.”

Adora swallowed around her suddenly dry mouth, knowing that she had to choose her next words with care. “Respectfully, Shadow Weaver, I prefer to stay with this team to preserve the rapport we’ve built together. We’ve always rallied together to complete our objectives, and starting over with another squadron would require an adjustment period that—“

“Enough!” Shadow Weaver thundered, whirling around to face Adora as her hair flared around her, blocking out the fluorescent lights of the hallway. Adora flinched back, feeling the weakness of her post-exercise state acutely. “I did not raise you to miss opportunities out of laziness, Adora, and I am done being reasonable about it.”

The dread that had been building in Adora’s stomach since her instructor had held her back suddenly multiplied exponentially. Shadow Weaver had brought up this topic every few months, and every encounter left Adora feeling two feet tall, learning for the first time that the woman who had raised her would leave her to collect her bumps and bruises without a shred of care in her heart. If that was reasonable, then what was Shadow Weaver about to do?

“If you want to continue to drag these incompetents around for the next six years of training, then I will allow it. But if you wish to compensate for their weaknesses, then you will train as though they were yours. From now on, every mistake they make in the simulator, whether it is in hand-to-hand, artillery, agility, or anything else, will mean an hour in the solo simulator for you. In fact,” she continued, her masked eyes glimmering like cold steel, “you will compensate for their mental weaknesses as well, just as you would on the battlefield. That goes for failure to complete their chores, tardies, and… absences.”

The weight of the punishment settled on Adora’s shoulders like a thousand pounds, rooting her, immobile, to the floor, while a tangle of a thousand unnamable emotions curdled in her stomach. Through the haze that clouded her thoughts, she mentally tallied up the hours she would have to train from the mistakes her squad had made on this obstacle course alone… it was too much. She would have to spend every hour of her recreation time in the simulators for the next two weeks alone, not to mention the obstacle course session her squadron had coming up next week.

So caught up in the overarching scheme of the punishment, she almost didn’t catch onto the last, emphasized word. When she realized its meaning, the weariness she had been holding at bay crashed into her like a cargo skiff and sent her into a defeated slouch.

Catra’s absence. Of course.

When the wake-up ping had sounded this morning, Catra had taken one step out of bed only to sway dangerously, complaining about scratchy eyes, a dizzying headache, and simultaneously too runny and too congested sinuses. Although she had tried to push through, her morning routine had raised serious doubts in Adora as to whether she could even survive the first obstacle.

“Stay out of sight today,” she had told Catra. “I’ll cover for you during the test.”

“Shadow Weaver’s gonna kill me,” her friend had slurred, already nestled in a storage space, and Adora had dismissed her concerns and strode away without a care.

Maybe Adora should have shared her worry.

Unnoticed, Shadow Weaver’s yellow eyes glimmered with victory as the light faded from her charge’s eyes. Finally, Adora realized the consequences of her unfortunate bond with her lessers. Soon enough, she would learn that both her squad and Catra prevented her from achieving her true potential, and would leave them behind. Then Shadow Weaver would have the perfect soldier at her disposal.

“Adora, this is only because your squad keeps you from training at your best. With this extra training, you will become stronger despite them. Embrace this as the challenge to your limits that it can be rather the punishment you would make it out to be. I am only looking out for your best interests,” she added with as much faux-gentleness as she could muster.

Adora looked up at her masked face, trusting, naive, gullible. “Of course, Shadow Weaver,” she said, voice shaking. “A chance to get stronger.”

“I’ll let you off easy today, since you did well in the simulator. Report to the hand-to-hand training simulator in fifteen minutes for a two hour session, and then you’re dismissed.” This was, of course, the standard punishment for an absence. From the look on Adora’s face, she realized it too. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Adora watched her float down the hall and round the corner in a numb haze. It was only after she had disappeared from sight completely that she realized that her whole body was shaking like a machine on the fritz. But Adora didn’t have time to panic. Shoving her turbulent emotions down, she began the ten minute sprint to the solo simulators.

Later that night, once she had finally showered and settled down for bed, Catra finally regained enough rational thought to study her myriad of scrapes and bruises.

“Wow, I didn’t know Miss Top Cadet could get this beat up during a routine obstacle test,” she teased, a question hovering in her bleary eyes.

Adora froze where she had been putting away her dirty uniform, but only for a second. She thought in that moment of explaining what had happened, or maybe just screaming or crying or something to release this pressure valve in her chest.

But an insidious voice in her chest whispered cruelly rational thoughts into her mind. If she told Catra, she would get angry at Shadow Weaver. If she got angry at Shadow Weaver, she would be twice as likely to lash out at her. If she lashed out at her, Adora would pay the price.

Those thoughts felt dangerously close to a betrayal of their bond, and even in her exhausted state, Adora knew that nothing good would come of keeping quiet. Catra would make it her business to find out the truth, and then Adora would face the wrath of both of them.

But Adora was so, so exhausted. She closed her eyes and debated with herself, but in the end, she made a bare concession. “I’ll tell you in the morning. For now, just focus on feeling better,” she replied somewhat shortly. Catra blinked in surprise at her reticence. “Just—not now, Catra.”

The surprise turned into a sneer. “Well, at your convenience, your highness.”

Adora ignored her and went to sleep.

\--

Adora stopped running when she reached the meadow where she had first practiced turning into She-Ra. A deep pit had opened in Adora’s stomach when Glimmer had first made her impassioned speech and it had only continued to widen from there as her friends had kept talking. She crouched down on the ground, muscles shaking, and buried her head in her arms.

“What am I doing here?” she whispered to herself. Bright Moon was so different compared to the Fright Zone. It was one thing to know that what she learned about this place had been totally and completely wrong. It was another entirely to be told that even the way she had been fed those lies was wrong.

She had always known in a distant way that Shadow Weaver’s methods weren’t quite right, were on the harsh side and subject to her mercurial temper, but to hear it put so plainly by her friends and still react so violently… Truth be told, Adora was ashamed. Ashamed, and embarrassed.

These beautiful people lived their beautiful lives with their soft emotions and loving families, petty arguments that fizzled to nothing under the enduring might of their affection for each other, embracing their vulnerabilities without restraint and building them up to strengths. Adora stood next to them, clunky and awkward, knowing that the only abilities she could offer were physical prowess and a strange proclivity for a magical sword. She had a childhood unlike anything these people had ever experienced, where children were cadets and the only thing more important than their next victory was their unquestioning obedience. She was too different from them, and they to her.

She swept away the tears that had been building in her eyes and just sat for a minute, existing without doubt. She just needed a minute where she wasn’t the poor, reformed soldier who knew nothing about anything.

Adora breathed.

A minute later, she rose to her feet and looked towards the castle, brushing the grass off her pants absentmindedly. Then she began walking back to her friends.

**Author's Note:**

> This was more of me getting a feel for the characters than an actual story. I felt like the writers did a great job of acknowledging the differences between the Fright Zone and Bright Moon and some of their effects on Adora's thinking, but I wanted to explore the emotional effects as well. I felt like they introduced a really important contrast between Adora and Shadow Weaver and Glimmer and Queen Angella in terms of what it healthy and what is not. If you have any questions about how I chose to write Adora and Shadow Weaver, or you find it worryingly relatable, shoot me a PM and I'll be happy to talk about it.  
> Also because this is very exploratory, the language is more industrial than flowery. Sorry about that! Hopefully I'll get the chance to write something a little more artistic soon with this beautiful show. First I'll probably do a few more pieces like this one though. :P
> 
> Please leave a review on your way out!


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